[Agnes all but crumples in Lilith's hold, and it seems so natural she should be here, if anyone should be here, to save her. Her eyes are heart wrenching as she meets the other woman's gaze, and she can't help herself, can't stop her tears from spilling, hot and steaming.]
Do I deserve this? Is this my punishment for being born a monster?
( the word is a whisper and though lilith normally keeps it covered she looks a little sad, not just for agnes but the reality of the entire situation. it's painful and part of it is starting to be a reminder of her own life )
You're not the monster, Agnes, he is. The actions he chooses are monstrous ones, seeking only to harm. To harm you.
[She raises her shaking hands to curl around Lilith's.]
I feed on the pain of others. Feed on it. My life has caused so much pain for so many people. The damage is irreversible, and killing myself did nothing to fix it. What else can I do? There must be something.
( there's a whisper of a spell and agnes will be filled with a warmth, though something far different to her own heat, intended to soothe her even if she can't take the pain away )
As have I.
( she's not going to touch on the revelation that agnes had died, wanting to try and ground the woman first )
You were given something cruel and unkind. What people make us is hard to deny but it is not all there is.
( the fact that agnes was concerned about being a monster showed something )
[Lilith's manipulation helps, and slowly, Agnes calms, saying nothing more as her tears stop falling and evaporate against her cheeks. Around them, the setting starts to change, the rehabilitation center chanting into an open park.]
It would be so nice to live a life untouched by destiny.
( her whisper is filled with so much, an undernote as if lilith knows exactly what she's talking about. certainly, it's never been her own destiny but she's been led and manipulated to enact someone else's plans-- a prophecy. but hadn't she come into existence on someone's whim? a destiny of the first woman. she may have rebelled but things hadn't gone well for her after that )
But whilst that may be more difficult to obtain-- there are others here that will help you, that understand.
( she doesn't just mean her but she does understand )
( because whilst agnes could potentially do so accidentally-- lilith didn't believe she would be intentionally cruel to someone she cared about. the woman may have admitted that she'd intended harm on people before but it had been a vastly different situation. then agnes hadn't had people that had cared about her and that changed everything )
That is a mark of who you are. I've known monsters. ( worshipped one of the biggest ones her entire life ) They don't feel guilt or regret over hurting those around them. Or anyone.
( and that was something that it took lilith a long time to realise or rather to accept )
Your words bring me so much comfort. I wish it was easier for me to place them in my heart.
[But it's never that easy, is it? Even if she were only a mortal of the 26 years she appeared to be, it wouldn't be easy. Having lived for much longer than that in such isolation and with such damaging reinforcements complicates things tremendously, even without sharing Lilith's many years.]
Fighting against everything that you've been shown-- everything that you've been told is not a simple task.
( is she speaking from experience? most definitely, though she's doing her best to keep that hidden despite how much she trusts agnes. this isn't about her even if perhaps that shared connection could help )
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Do I deserve this? Is this my punishment for being born a monster?
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( the word is a whisper and though lilith normally keeps it covered she looks a little sad, not just for agnes but the reality of the entire situation. it's painful and part of it is starting to be a reminder of her own life )
You're not the monster, Agnes, he is. The actions he chooses are monstrous ones, seeking only to harm. To harm you.
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[She raises her shaking hands to curl around Lilith's.]
I feed on the pain of others. Feed on it. My life has caused so much pain for so many people. The damage is irreversible, and killing myself did nothing to fix it. What else can I do? There must be something.
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As have I.
( she's not going to touch on the revelation that agnes had died, wanting to try and ground the woman first )
You were given something cruel and unkind. What people make us is hard to deny but it is not all there is.
( the fact that agnes was concerned about being a monster showed something )
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It would be so nice to live a life untouched by destiny.
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( her whisper is filled with so much, an undernote as if lilith knows exactly what she's talking about. certainly, it's never been her own destiny but she's been led and manipulated to enact someone else's plans-- a prophecy. but hadn't she come into existence on someone's whim? a destiny of the first woman. she may have rebelled but things hadn't gone well for her after that )
But whilst that may be more difficult to obtain-- there are others here that will help you, that understand.
( she doesn't just mean her but she does understand )
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[Lilith, Martin, Jon...her face twists.]
What if I hurt them? And you?
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( because whilst agnes could potentially do so accidentally-- lilith didn't believe she would be intentionally cruel to someone she cared about. the woman may have admitted that she'd intended harm on people before but it had been a vastly different situation. then agnes hadn't had people that had cared about her and that changed everything )
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[And it's already happened. She's already burned Jon when he tried to help her. Got him punished alongside her.]
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( and that was something that it took lilith a long time to realise or rather to accept )
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[But it's never that easy, is it? Even if she were only a mortal of the 26 years she appeared to be, it wouldn't be easy. Having lived for much longer than that in such isolation and with such damaging reinforcements complicates things tremendously, even without sharing Lilith's many years.]
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( is she speaking from experience? most definitely, though she's doing her best to keep that hidden despite how much she trusts agnes. this isn't about her even if perhaps that shared connection could help )
But it can be done.