( she'd actually helped those in need. those with powers anyway and only really because the resistance slightly worked with her own agenda. it wasn't exactly out of the goodness of her heart )
I don't know if it matter anymore. He wanted me to run Hell, and I didn't want to, and I tried to rebel against him and...ended up running Hell because I'd been banished from Heaven.
[All those who told him that his father had chosen him for the task for a reason, had they been right?]
There are things all angels have in common, as part of our physiology. We're faster than humans, we're stronger than humans, we're immortal and invulnerable. Some angels are stronger than others, but we're all stronger than humans. Every angel also has something that is unique to just them, some skill that they can use to do dad's will. Mine is desire. I can get people to admit what they desire most. Sometimes they don't even know they want it.
I think, because of that, I've always been aware that the desire for something else exists. If you don't know that you want something, you don't go after it, right? But I knew. I knew that I wanted to be able to choose things for myself, that I wasn't satisfied with just what he gave me.
I don't know if he knew what would happen when he gave an angel the knowledge that desire existed, but I doubt he was very surprised at how it turned out.
Well, that certainly marks you different from the Lucifer I know.
( though they'd had brief conversations in the past about some of those differences. his actions weren't the sole thing it seemed, not with those abilities in question )
Desire has certainly been something he knows. Taking his, granting others for his own favours.
( so many sold their souls to the devil and she doubted that was any different here )
But-- it isn't simply you that is different to what I know. Angels aren't invulnerable.
I'm not completely invulnerable. Divinity can harm me.
[Exactly what that divinity is he'll leave up to her speculation.]
I don't know if my father expected that outcome when he gave me desire. I'd like to think that he wasn't manipulating everything from the start to get me to run Hell, but he did end up getting what he wanted.
I can't speak for his plan but for my world he didn't want Lucifer running Hell. He was-- cursed in a sense after his fall. It wasn't part of any plan.
He may have given me that particular gift because he wanted me to run Hell. When I know what someone's desires are, I can use them against them.
[Which is his job. It all makes a twisted sort of sense.]
It was always part of his plan. It's what my rebellion was about. He wanted me to run Hell, I didn't want to, I tried and failed to change things. He banished me from Heaven, and I ended up in Hell anyway.
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Kind of the opposite of what would be expected of an angel and a demon.
[To most people, anyway. He knows better.]
I told him he shouldn't have trusted a demon.
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( she'd actually helped those in need. those with powers anyway and only really because the resistance slightly worked with her own agenda. it wasn't exactly out of the goodness of her heart )
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[He knows better than that, too.]
I just meant that angels should think twice before trusting demons.
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[It had been a spectacularly bad decision on Amenadiel's part to trust Maze, but Lucifer had been counting on him doing it anyway.]
Maybe he'll know better next time.
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( he'd still spoken of love, had sounded hurt. she didn't expect him to learn )
He's not intelligent for an angel.
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Maybe that's why it's so hard for him to understand how free will works.
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( lucifer her main exception, though aziraphale had had some different opinion, though not entirely )
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I never had trouble with doing otherwise. Sometimes I wonder if that's how it was supposed to be.
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[All those who told him that his father had chosen him for the task for a reason, had they been right?]
There are things all angels have in common, as part of our physiology. We're faster than humans, we're stronger than humans, we're immortal and invulnerable. Some angels are stronger than others, but we're all stronger than humans. Every angel also has something that is unique to just them, some skill that they can use to do dad's will. Mine is desire. I can get people to admit what they desire most. Sometimes they don't even know they want it.
I think, because of that, I've always been aware that the desire for something else exists. If you don't know that you want something, you don't go after it, right? But I knew. I knew that I wanted to be able to choose things for myself, that I wasn't satisfied with just what he gave me.
I don't know if he knew what would happen when he gave an angel the knowledge that desire existed, but I doubt he was very surprised at how it turned out.
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( though they'd had brief conversations in the past about some of those differences. his actions weren't the sole thing it seemed, not with those abilities in question )
Desire has certainly been something he knows. Taking his, granting others for his own favours.
( so many sold their souls to the devil and she doubted that was any different here )
But-- it isn't simply you that is different to what I know. Angels aren't invulnerable.
( those of her world and gabriel's )
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[Exactly what that divinity is he'll leave up to her speculation.]
I don't know if my father expected that outcome when he gave me desire. I'd like to think that he wasn't manipulating everything from the start to get me to run Hell, but he did end up getting what he wanted.
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( as for the manipulations-- )
I can't speak for his plan but for my world he didn't want Lucifer running Hell. He was-- cursed in a sense after his fall. It wasn't part of any plan.
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[Which is his job. It all makes a twisted sort of sense.]
It was always part of his plan. It's what my rebellion was about. He wanted me to run Hell, I didn't want to, I tried and failed to change things. He banished me from Heaven, and I ended up in Hell anyway.