( lilith sees the shift as it happens and she backs away, rather than helping her ride through the orgasm she drops her magic, seating herself close to agnes but not touching her, voice gentle as she speaks )
Agnes?
( was it too much too soon? she wasn't the first virgin that she'd worked but it was the first time that lilith had had a reaction like this. or perhaps there was some traumatic moment that she was unaware of, perhaps from an attempt to have sex that failed because of her touch (consensually or not). and really-- perhaps she should have been slower but agnes had told her it was fine. lilith feels as if she should have anticipated something, knowing similar traumas herself )
[As the intensity starts to ease, as she realizes that nothing is on fire, that no one is burning, embarrassment starts to set in. But that's not a particularly familiar emotion, either, and with all of it being a bit much, she just...talks. More than she should, or needs to.]
( her voice is soothing, coaxing the woman back to her and lilith's hand seeks hers again, letting agnes stay faced away but lightly offering that comfort of her touch )
Someone's first time can be-- overwhelming. You've never been able to be touched, it's not unexpected.
[Although she keeps herself pressed downward, she holds on tightly to Lilith's hand when it finds purchase. Even full of shame, she can't help but crave that comfort.]
I kept imagining...that I wouldn't be able to help but hurt you.
( the flames of hell were stronger than anything that she'd felt from agnes and she didn't want to believe that something could burn hotter. lilith had been burned before but it wasn't always so physical )
I only hope that I didn't hurt you.
( not physically but mentally. lilith feels that it would have taken a lot for agnes to bring herself to this point of letting lilith touch her, particularly intimately. she didn't want to ruin that )
Agnes-- ( though her voice is still soft it's a little firmer, wanting her to clearly take in her message )
You don't need to follow someone's expectations. Intimacy is still your choice and they should follow your wishes.
( just as lilith would. she'd give her ideas, show her as many new things but always let agnes choose what to do, to develop that confidence of her body )
Your body is precious. Unique, wonderful. You can do much with it.
[Finally, Agnes rolls back over to face Lilith. Those intense eyes of hers simply stare for a moment, full of deep, dark sadness.]
It isn't something that I'm used to.
[The expectations of others is all that she's ever known. Having been made for a purpose, having to watch your every step, every thought, every action...that took away so much choice. And now here, collared. It hasn't felt any different. But it is different, isn't it? It should be different.]
How is it you can see such things when you look at me?
( the hand that's on agnes' arm continues stroking, drifting a little higher to rest on her shoulder. there's a brief pause before she answers and for once her gaze doesn't leave agnes's even with the more difficult nature of the conversation. she could compliment her more, tell her that she sees wonderful things because it's in her, something that would be true but-- she does something else. honesty. a rare feat with this topic but she trusts the woman that she's sat with just as agnes had trusted her to be gentle with her )
I've felt the hand of men who would seek to control me, to use me for their wishes. Who told me I was not worthy.
( etcetera etcetera. and even though lilith's still in the process of bringing herself up past some of those men she refuses to let their words or actions define her, refuses to be squashed down. and no woman should )
Women were not created to be subservient to men. ( fuck god and adam for trying to do that. they were made from the same clay, they were at least equal ) You have your own mind, your own desires. You should be the only one to decide what to do with yourself.
( the rest about her body? agnes simply was a beautiful creature both physically and in spirit )
[Agnes remains silent and still as Lilith speaks, letting her know of her past struggles. And she...she understands. Her subservience hasn't always been to men, specifically, but the sentiment is so very painfully well understood. Reaching up with her free hand, Agnes cups Lilith's face with her blazing hand.]
It's a difficult thing to learn, but I do wish to try.
[And then, she adds even more softly:]
I hope every man who ever made you feel less-than experiences the agony of desolation.
( her eyes close, leaning into the warmth of her touch, something more comforting than such a touch usually is )
Being forgotten is enough.
( well-- the majority of mortals were but the main problems would never be forgotten. one may be dead but the other-- she still had a story there to face )
Your path here will not be quick nor easy. But it won't be alone.
( she was already prepared to hurt someone if they tried to hurt agnes even if the woman could inflict her own pain very easily )
( lilith nods, understanding that sentiment far more than agnes realises )
I previously mentioned that if there was a thin that you needed that you should simply ask.
( and she meant it. not just her quota but anything. people being hassling, something she was stuck on-- she wanted to help agnes no matter what it was )
[It comes out with much less embarrassment than she actually feels. Because that much, at least, hadn't brought her to a point of such shocked intensity.]
( lilith nods, tipping agnes's head up slightly. as their lips meet it's just as light and gentle as before, slow meeting of touch.
but then, kissing once more, she kisses a little firmer, deeper than before. she doesn't intend to take this any further than a kiss but it's a learning experience for them, too see what she's receptive to, to nudge that comfort into new territory and to simply bring her pleasure )
[Agnes sighs into it, her eyelids fluttering closed as she sinks into the deep pressure of their joined mouths. She's still rather passive, but after a hesitation, relaxes enough to allow herself to take a bit more action than she did before. Her hands run up Lilith's arms, then down her sides when they reach her shoulders. Once her hot fingertips reach her waist, she pulls the other woman gently down against her naked body, comfortable at the very least with that closeness.]
( when it had all gone wrong the arousal that lilith had felt had gone, concern flooding her for the woman. kissing her now, the heat of her touch and agnes taking a little more charge-- oh boy.
she's breathless when they finally part, body flush against agnes's and her hand comes up to lightly brush her hair back from her face )
You should get some sleep.
( here is the intention considering that she's already naked in her bed but lilith wants to make certain that she's as okay as agnes claims after all that happened )
[It's hard to resist pressing her forehead into Lilith's when her fingers brush through her hair. Every little touch makes her feel like she's part of a new life, like she can just leave everything else behind her and never look back at it again. Still, she's docile enough to just smile, instead.]
Are you certain it's alright?
[She's not tired, not exactly, but...she feels so much more at peace, now. It would be so easy to let her consciousness float away. Probably easier than it's ever been for her, before. The stresses of Duplicity are all outside of this apartment. It's safe here, with Lilith.]
( though she won't be staying, pottering around doing her own thing while she does sleep. lilith might indulge her former human sleep habits, a familiarity and sometimes a comfort but she doesn't really need sleep anymore.
she presses one last brief kiss to her lips before untangling herself from the woman, moving to let her rest in peace. she had-- something to take care of )
[Agnes smiles as Lilith leaves, sighing as she adjusts herself. There's no need for her to get underneath the covers or re-dress, as the temperature doesn't bother her, so she simply rolls onto her side and watches Lilith go until she finds herself drifting off, eyes closing.
( rather than collecting her dress lilith pulls on a robe as she leaves, intent on going back to examining one of the magical texts she'd bought here.
that's the plan though it isn't what happens. feeling a little worked up from the contact with agnes, the gentle intimacy of the whole thing she finds it hard to concentrate, something that lilith doesn't often have an issue with. sex has been something different for her for a long time and for her to feel like this--
she ends up taking herself to the bathroom, starting with a shower, trying to ease herself with the heat of the water. that serves instead to remind her of agnes, the heat of the woman's skin, how it had felt to have their bodies pressed together--
her hand slips between her thighs, gentle rub against her clit, shuddered breath formed from her touch and the water hitting down on her. she hasn't touched herself like this in a while, hasn't had cause to, the moan that slips from her as fingers rub at sensitive flesh surprising her, a little echoed from the enclosed space of her shower )
[She's not asleep for long, and she isn't sure what it is that's woken her. But Agnes feels rested...and more than that, when she wakes and sees herself alone, there's a strange sort of feeling she doesn't understand inside of her. She's not unaccustomed to loneliness. She spent most of her life alone, after all. Never had any friends, never allowed in one place for very long.
No, it's different, and Agnes can't put a word to it.
Sitting up, she looks around, tucking her legs up under her. She hears the water running after a moment, and decides to get out of bed, not sure if she'll fall back asleep again. Her intention, initially, is just to wait for Lilith to finish her shower. But then...she hears something else. Something that stokes a still-unfamiliar hunger inside of her. Before she's really decided what to do she's pushing open the bathroom door, still as naked as ever.]
( she doesn't expect the interruption though somehow lilith doesn't startle, as if perhaps a sense in her saw it coming. lazily she looks over at agnes, the motions of her hand still stroking at herself for a few more seconds before they slow.
well-- this would be preferable, feeling another's touch between her legs instead of her own and part of her wonders what agnes's would be like, the heat of her fingers as they stroke at her.
lilith lets her hand fall, moving to turn off the shower before opening the shower door, offering a hand to the woman )
You have wonderful timing.
( whilst this also provides a good opportunity for agnes to learn how to pleasure someone else lilith's selfishly thinking of her own pleasure, the curiosity in the woman's touch and the need that she's stoked.
she draws agnes to her, an arm around her waist, capturing her lips in a kiss. there's no pretense about it this time, they both know where it's going )
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Agnes?
( was it too much too soon? she wasn't the first virgin that she'd worked but it was the first time that lilith had had a reaction like this. or perhaps there was some traumatic moment that she was unaware of, perhaps from an attempt to have sex that failed because of her touch (consensually or not). and really-- perhaps she should have been slower but agnes had told her it was fine. lilith feels as if she should have anticipated something, knowing similar traumas herself )
You're alright.
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[As the intensity starts to ease, as she realizes that nothing is on fire, that no one is burning, embarrassment starts to set in. But that's not a particularly familiar emotion, either, and with all of it being a bit much, she just...talks. More than she should, or needs to.]
I always ruin everything. Everything.
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( her voice is soothing, coaxing the woman back to her and lilith's hand seeks hers again, letting agnes stay faced away but lightly offering that comfort of her touch )
Someone's first time can be-- overwhelming. You've never been able to be touched, it's not unexpected.
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I kept imagining...that I wouldn't be able to help but hurt you.
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( the flames of hell were stronger than anything that she'd felt from agnes and she didn't want to believe that something could burn hotter. lilith had been burned before but it wasn't always so physical )
I only hope that I didn't hurt you.
( not physically but mentally. lilith feels that it would have taken a lot for agnes to bring herself to this point of letting lilith touch her, particularly intimately. she didn't want to ruin that )
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[Agnes breathes slowly. The throbbing in her body feels so nice, but her heart...that's what feels so despaired.]
You didn't. I just didn't expect how that would feel. I thought of things I shouldn't.
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( her other hand rests on agnes' arm, stroking gently )
There are other ways to fill your quota. You don't need to orgasm for it.
( not until she's certain and lilith will never push her )
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It's alright. I know what to expect, now. I don't think this will happen again.
[And if it did, she'd know how to push it down, like she does with everything else.]
I'm sorry if I worried you.
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You don't need to follow someone's expectations. Intimacy is still your choice and they should follow your wishes.
( just as lilith would. she'd give her ideas, show her as many new things but always let agnes choose what to do, to develop that confidence of her body )
Your body is precious. Unique, wonderful. You can do much with it.
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It isn't something that I'm used to.
[The expectations of others is all that she's ever known. Having been made for a purpose, having to watch your every step, every thought, every action...that took away so much choice. And now here, collared. It hasn't felt any different. But it is different, isn't it? It should be different.]
How is it you can see such things when you look at me?
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I've felt the hand of men who would seek to control me, to use me for their wishes. Who told me I was not worthy.
( etcetera etcetera. and even though lilith's still in the process of bringing herself up past some of those men she refuses to let their words or actions define her, refuses to be squashed down. and no woman should )
Women were not created to be subservient to men. ( fuck god and adam for trying to do that. they were made from the same clay, they were at least equal ) You have your own mind, your own desires. You should be the only one to decide what to do with yourself.
( the rest about her body? agnes simply was a beautiful creature both physically and in spirit )
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It's a difficult thing to learn, but I do wish to try.
[And then, she adds even more softly:]
I hope every man who ever made you feel less-than experiences the agony of desolation.
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Being forgotten is enough.
( well-- the majority of mortals were but the main problems would never be forgotten. one may be dead but the other-- she still had a story there to face )
Your path here will not be quick nor easy. But it won't be alone.
( she was already prepared to hurt someone if they tried to hurt agnes even if the woman could inflict her own pain very easily )
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[Finally, Agnes' face softens, the faintest of smiles on her lips, even if her eyes are sad.]
It helps to finally not be alone.
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I previously mentioned that if there was a thin that you needed that you should simply ask.
( and she meant it. not just her quota but anything. people being hassling, something she was stuck on-- she wanted to help agnes no matter what it was )
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[It comes out with much less embarrassment than she actually feels. Because that much, at least, hadn't brought her to a point of such shocked intensity.]
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but then, kissing once more, she kisses a little firmer, deeper than before. she doesn't intend to take this any further than a kiss but it's a learning experience for them, too see what she's receptive to, to nudge that comfort into new territory and to simply bring her pleasure )
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she's breathless when they finally part, body flush against agnes's and her hand comes up to lightly brush her hair back from her face )
You should get some sleep.
( here is the intention considering that she's already naked in her bed but lilith wants to make certain that she's as okay as agnes claims after all that happened )
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Are you certain it's alright?
[She's not tired, not exactly, but...she feels so much more at peace, now. It would be so easy to let her consciousness float away. Probably easier than it's ever been for her, before. The stresses of Duplicity are all outside of this apartment. It's safe here, with Lilith.]
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( though she won't be staying, pottering around doing her own thing while she does sleep. lilith might indulge her former human sleep habits, a familiarity and sometimes a comfort but she doesn't really need sleep anymore.
she presses one last brief kiss to her lips before untangling herself from the woman, moving to let her rest in peace. she had-- something to take care of )
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She's sure she will have no nightmares.]
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that's the plan though it isn't what happens. feeling a little worked up from the contact with agnes, the gentle intimacy of the whole thing she finds it hard to concentrate, something that lilith doesn't often have an issue with. sex has been something different for her for a long time and for her to feel like this--
she ends up taking herself to the bathroom, starting with a shower, trying to ease herself with the heat of the water. that serves instead to remind her of agnes, the heat of the woman's skin, how it had felt to have their bodies pressed together--
her hand slips between her thighs, gentle rub against her clit, shuddered breath formed from her touch and the water hitting down on her. she hasn't touched herself like this in a while, hasn't had cause to, the moan that slips from her as fingers rub at sensitive flesh surprising her, a little echoed from the enclosed space of her shower )
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No, it's different, and Agnes can't put a word to it.
Sitting up, she looks around, tucking her legs up under her. She hears the water running after a moment, and decides to get out of bed, not sure if she'll fall back asleep again. Her intention, initially, is just to wait for Lilith to finish her shower. But then...she hears something else. Something that stokes a still-unfamiliar hunger inside of her. Before she's really decided what to do she's pushing open the bathroom door, still as naked as ever.]
May I join you?
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well-- this would be preferable, feeling another's touch between her legs instead of her own and part of her wonders what agnes's would be like, the heat of her fingers as they stroke at her.
lilith lets her hand fall, moving to turn off the shower before opening the shower door, offering a hand to the woman )
You have wonderful timing.
( whilst this also provides a good opportunity for agnes to learn how to pleasure someone else lilith's selfishly thinking of her own pleasure, the curiosity in the woman's touch and the need that she's stoked.
she draws agnes to her, an arm around her waist, capturing her lips in a kiss. there's no pretense about it this time, they both know where it's going )
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