( lilith nods, understanding what he means. so many people wanted to change things but didn't know how and it was a precious thing that lilith would have to balance when she finally frees herself of this place -- how to rule as queen )
The power that you have, that allows you to do this-- Where does it come from?
( lilith was a witch, had claimed her power after her banishment but what was adam? not a witch, no )
Glancing down and furrowing his brow, he thinks. He knows the answer, he's aware. But, once again, not something he's said out loud before. It feels so strange. ]
I was meant to have it. I was meant to destroy the world. At least, that's what they said.
[ 'They'. Angels. Demons. The voices. They all said he was meant to rule, to destroy it all, build it back up. He was meant to bring The End, and The Beginning. He was meant to rule everything.
He didn't want to.
Adam looks up at Lilith again. ]
They said the devil was my dad. Like it was all planned. But dads don't just show up to tell you off. And everyone else just showed up at the same time, saying loads of stuff. It was all so...confusing.
[ Bits of information, as he tries to parse through it in his head. She might not have all the context, but the core of it is simple enough. ]
( lucifer. of course. his power manifested a little differently than sabrina's had but of course she was also a witch. perhaps this is why she'd always thought the two would get on )
You wouldn't be the only one to say that. That your father is the person who you know, not just your biology.
( and that wasn't limited just to sabrina )
So you-- willed the apocalypse not to exist?
( she's a little impressed by that. though anyone that beats down lucifer has her respect )
I'm certain that response wasn't something he'd considered.
[ Her question makes him pause, because that was not quite what he meant to do. The apocalypse didnβt happen, because he made it so, but it was more of a consequence than the main action.]
No, I just didnβt do it. I mean, I almost did, I- [ He falters, for a second.]
I wasnβt thinking straight. But my friends helped me see it wasnβt the right thing to do.
[ As much as he likes Aziraphale and Crowley now, the truth is he had no idea who they were, that day. They were two more faces in a whole mess of people.]
Yeah.
I was...[ But he pauses. Itβs weird, thinking about it, being out of that headspace and thinking back on it. It feels both wrong and natural in equal amounts, and he doesnβt know how to process that.]
I was angry. And I was wrong. I donβt know what I would have done without them.
[ Adam has to nod, lips flattened. He still feels a little bad. But kinds are as kids do...and he's a kid, first and foremost. Partially demonic nature notwithstanding. ]
There's still a lot that's wrong. But there has to be other ways to fix it.
What if there isn't anyone to guide them? It sounds like everyone keeps secret and does bad stuff and then acts like they can just do that. There's so much just...wrong.
[ He could have changed it. He tried to. That didn't go well. ]
All I know is that people deserve the chance to change, but there's a lot of folks who don't even try.
Some secrets do harm yes but not all. But-- one person alone can never change everything. Small steps but it would require others making small steps for it to have a large enough impact.
( and the right impact. one person alone always spelled disaster )
[ He thinks that over, looking very much like a child that's still dealing with conflicting thoughts, but Lilith's right.
He did learn his lesson back then, but but he still thinks there's a lot to fix. A lot that's unfair. And, by the looks of things, it doesn't seem to just happen in his world, but most others. ]
I wish we all knew what we should do. It's hard to tell what's right, or who's going to try and stop you.
( her voice is a little lower, a little more reflective. so many over the years have tried to stop her from so much but what was worth it was aways worth persevering with. if you didn't try there'd be nothing that ever changed )
Perhaps you'll have the opportunity to change something for the better at some point. In the right way.
[ He thinks for a couple of seconds, then nods lightly. ]
I'll try.
[ And not by erasing everything and starting again. He knows he's not the only one who thinks things need to change, and he's sure there's a lot of others out there. ]
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no subject
The power that you have, that allows you to do this-- Where does it come from?
( lilith was a witch, had claimed her power after her banishment but what was adam? not a witch, no )
no subject
Glancing down and furrowing his brow, he thinks. He knows the answer, he's aware. But, once again, not something he's said out loud before. It feels so strange. ]
I was meant to have it. I was meant to destroy the world. At least, that's what they said.
[ 'They'. Angels. Demons. The voices. They all said he was meant to rule, to destroy it all, build it back up. He was meant to bring The End, and The Beginning. He was meant to rule everything.
He didn't want to.
Adam looks up at Lilith again. ]
They said the devil was my dad. Like it was all planned. But dads don't just show up to tell you off. And everyone else just showed up at the same time, saying loads of stuff. It was all so...confusing.
[ Bits of information, as he tries to parse through it in his head. She might not have all the context, but the core of it is simple enough. ]
So I changed it.
no subject
You wouldn't be the only one to say that. That your father is the person who you know, not just your biology.
( and that wasn't limited just to sabrina )
So you-- willed the apocalypse not to exist?
( she's a little impressed by that. though anyone that beats down lucifer has her respect )
I'm certain that response wasn't something he'd considered.
no subject
No, I just didnβt do it. I mean, I almost did, I- [ He falters, for a second.]
I wasnβt thinking straight. But my friends helped me see it wasnβt the right thing to do.
no subject
( a curiosity not a judgement. she wonders if he means his actual friends or the angel and demon that had stood with him )
They do more than we can ever thank them for. An outside perspective can be very illuminating.
no subject
Yeah.
I was...[ But he pauses. Itβs weird, thinking about it, being out of that headspace and thinking back on it. It feels both wrong and natural in equal amounts, and he doesnβt know how to process that.]
I was angry. And I was wrong. I donβt know what I would have done without them.
no subject
( they were friends, there was always a reason involved and some bonds were difficult to break, even when strange things happened )
They would have preferred their world as it was.
no subject
There's still a lot that's wrong. But there has to be other ways to fix it.
no subject
( she nods at that, knowing from her own experiences across time )
Mortals often claim to but often they do more harm than good. But some thoughtful guidance could do more.
no subject
[ He could have changed it. He tried to. That didn't go well. ]
All I know is that people deserve the chance to change, but there's a lot of folks who don't even try.
no subject
( and the right impact. one person alone always spelled disaster )
no subject
He did learn his lesson back then, but but he still thinks there's a lot to fix. A lot that's unfair. And, by the looks of things, it doesn't seem to just happen in his world, but most others. ]
I wish we all knew what we should do. It's hard to tell what's right, or who's going to try and stop you.
[ A pause, but he adds: ]
But it's still worth trying.
no subject
( her voice is a little lower, a little more reflective. so many over the years have tried to stop her from so much but what was worth it was aways worth persevering with. if you didn't try there'd be nothing that ever changed )
Perhaps you'll have the opportunity to change something for the better at some point. In the right way.
no subject
I'll try.
[ And not by erasing everything and starting again. He knows he's not the only one who thinks things need to change, and he's sure there's a lot of others out there. ]