You always think the worst of me. I'm not underestimating you, I'm worrying because as a demon, I shouldn't feel these damnable things, but I do legitimately care. Watching her kill you was painful to me. If I can do anything to prevent it from happening again, I want to try.
( there is an honest gap in the response that lilith makes to this. to hear someone say that they care about her, that her death affected them-- lilith hadn't know what to do or say when fern had pledged himself to her and now crowley?
she was used to working alone, to not relying on anyone because no one could get a job done for her. she wasn't used to caring about people which had happened. she'd protected him, saved his life and it had honestly become more than just crowley being useful to her. she cared. and she didn't know how to feel about any of it )
don't be alarmed by my appearance when I get there.
[Only a few people had briefly seen him like this and that had been in an attempt to scare them. Aziraphale didn't count. Willingly leaving the house like this was tough, but he kept to tall vegetation and back alleys. He'd tried very hard to change back before he made his way to her house, but he didn't have the strength yet. Whatever was making him ill also seemed to sap the strength out of every attempt to shift.
He crooked his tail and knocked lightly at her door, keeping himself low and non-threatening.]
( what lilith assumes by that statement and what actually occurs are too entirely different things. finding a snake at her door-- she knows that it's him but--
she pulls the door back, using her magic to push it shut once he's in, moving back to the living room )
[Crowley followed her inside and kept his head down. Ashamed? Yeah.]
Not even a ssspark of it. And I'm too weak to change back... I've never fallen ill before, but thisss sssure feelsss like a human illnesss.
[There's a sibilant sound to his words, most prominently clinging to his "s"s. With that, his breathing is accompanied by a wheeze originating deep in his chest. He knew he was feverish but more than that, he could still feel a muted sensation of burning alive throughout his body.
He was weak and virtually defenceless in his current state. He could have easily been killed again on his way to her place. Even in her weakened state she could probably kill him with little effort and he was well aware of that. But he trusted her like he trusted Aziraphale. They were the only two he'd willingly allow to see him this weak.]
( she admits it only because it's him, because he's in the same situation that she is. witches don't fall ill -- not with mortal illnesses and lilith's been a witch her entire life.
she sighs as she sits, a hand brushing briefly across her neck, as if trying to rub away the feeling of something on her )
[Don't mind him as he coils up on the floor near her feet, but far enough that he could still look up at her with his head resting atop his body. He was too awkward for the couch, and honestly, he's been spending his time sleeping on the floor under the bed where he felt more secure, so this was fine.]
It'sss all a ssside effect of the resssurrection? When demonsss usssually die we get sssent back to Hell to await a new body. As long as we aren't killed with holy water. That'sss the end for usss. It meltsss our sssoul.
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she was used to working alone, to not relying on anyone because no one could get a job done for her. she wasn't used to caring about people which had happened. she'd protected him, saved his life and it had honestly become more than just crowley being useful to her. she cared. and she didn't know how to feel about any of it )
I'm at the house.
( she'd tell him but not in a text )
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[Only a few people had briefly seen him like this and that had been in an attempt to scare them. Aziraphale didn't count. Willingly leaving the house like this was tough, but he kept to tall vegetation and back alleys. He'd tried very hard to change back before he made his way to her house, but he didn't have the strength yet. Whatever was making him ill also seemed to sap the strength out of every attempt to shift.
He crooked his tail and knocked lightly at her door, keeping himself low and non-threatening.]
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she pulls the door back, using her magic to push it shut once he's in, moving back to the living room )
You still don't have you power.
( she can feel that )
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Not even a ssspark of it. And I'm too weak to change back... I've never fallen ill before, but thisss sssure feelsss like a human illnesss.
[There's a sibilant sound to his words, most prominently clinging to his "s"s. With that, his breathing is accompanied by a wheeze originating deep in his chest. He knew he was feverish but more than that, he could still feel a muted sensation of burning alive throughout his body.
He was weak and virtually defenceless in his current state. He could have easily been killed again on his way to her place. Even in her weakened state she could probably kill him with little effort and he was well aware of that. But he trusted her like he trusted Aziraphale. They were the only two he'd willingly allow to see him this weak.]
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( she admits it only because it's him, because he's in the same situation that she is. witches don't fall ill -- not with mortal illnesses and lilith's been a witch her entire life.
she sighs as she sits, a hand brushing briefly across her neck, as if trying to rub away the feeling of something on her )
Though resurrection isn't a simple process.
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It'sss all a ssside effect of the resssurrection? When demonsss usssually die we get sssent back to Hell to await a new body. As long as we aren't killed with holy water. That'sss the end for usss. It meltsss our sssoul.
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( it wouldnt melt her soul exactly, maybe not even her demons but it did affect them. witches couldn't even cross consecrated ground )
But your soul was intact. And no doubt your powers will return.
( hers were weaker for the time, though her entire being also was )